By Jae-Ha Kim
Chicago Sun-Times
April 30, 1995
Crobar, Excalibur, Big Nasty . . . These Chicago clubs are as different as can be from one another. Similarly, the clubs that our favorite TV characters haunt range from ubercool to comatose-inducing.
Listed below are some of our favorite and most detested fictional television night spots:
Coolsville
STAGE 18 (“Party of Five”): Dark and dingy, this is the fictional club I most wish was real. It has attitude, live bands and a crowd that’s hip without working at it too much. When 15-year-old Julia Sallinger wanted to change her studious image and gain the added bonus of meeting band boys, she lied about her age to get a job as a cocktail waitress here. Comparable Chicago joint: Smart Bar.
CENTRAL PERK (“Friends”): It may not be the coolest coffeehouse in New York, but it attracts the best-looking clientele – namely Monica, Ross, Rachel, Joey, Phoebe and Chandler. This is the gang’s home away from home, and it’s easy to see why. The Perk is spacious, kitschy, clean and always seems to have enough seats for everyone. Not only that, but the mugs of cappuccino are huge – always a plus in my book. This incredibly comfy watering hole suffers from only two things: Rachel’s bad waitressing and Phoebe’s bad folk singing. Comparable Chicago joint: Logan Beach Coffeehouse.
CAFE NERVOSA (“Frasier”): Frasier and his twitchy brother Niles hang out here, an appropriately named upscale coffeehouse for a pair of psychiatrists. The staff is young, knowledgeable and, most importantly, patient, which is a good thing when they have to serve customers like the particular Doctors Crane. The bustle of Nervosa is true to life, with patrons jockeying for the best tables. Comparable Chicago joint: any Barnes & Noble coffeeshop.
AL’S DRIVE-IN (“Happy Days”): Thanks to the popularity of Weezer’s video for its latest single “Buddy Holly,” Al’s Diner has enjoyed a resurgence in popularity. (The diner and “Happy Days” cast members are featured prominently throughout the video.) The quintessential ’50s diner – complete with a well-stocked jukebox, pedal pushers and Potsie – Al’s is a comfortable, homey teen hangout. Comparable Chicago joint: Ed Debevic’s wishes.
QUARK’S BAR (“Deep Space Nine”): It’s fair to say this place is out of this world. A drinking and gambling establishment run by Quark, the spa always attracts an interestingly dressed, eclectic crowd. Comparable Chicago joint: the old Exit.
Maybe Definitely
PHIL’S (“Murphy Brown”): About the only person more connected into politics than Murph and her colleagues at “FYI” is the bar’s owner, Phil, who suggested the 1,000 points of light speech for President Bush. Comparable Chicago joint: Billy Goat.
SHOOTERS (“Melrose Place”): Con: No dancing. Lots of whining. Pro: Jake is the bartender-owner, and the delightfully demented Sydney is the on-again, off-again waitress. This is where all the “Melrose Place” residents drink away their sorrows. The beer’s as cheap as the men and women who hang here, and no one over the age of 25 dares step foot inside the doors. Comparable Chicago joint: Houlihan’s.
RIFFS (“Mad About You”): Half bar, half restaurant, everyone is guaranteed bad service if Ursula happens to be their waitress. Inattentive and ditzy, Ursula has a knack for bringing you whatever you didn’t order. Nonetheless, Riffs is comfortable and cozy and exudes none of the sleazy meet market mentality that permeates too many bars. Comparable Chicago joint: Blackie’s.
As If!
STAGE 99 (“Models Inc.”): 1/2 By far the worst nightclub ever seen on TV. It’s supposed to be a hangout for the beautiful people, but no person with an ounce of cool would hit this joint. A cheesy, oversized director’s placard decorates the front entrance. Bad music is piped in through the speakers. And the wannabe poseurs inside aren’t pretending to be bored – they really are. Comparable Chicago joint: Holiday.
PEACH PIT AFTER DARK (“Beverly Hills, 90210”): This past season Steve and Nat decided the way to make extra money at the Peach Pit diner was to turn it into a rave at night. Hence the Peach Pit After Dark was born. OK, never mind that raves are supposed to be cutting edge, held in secret and anti-adult (Nat is the fiftysomething owner-waiter of the Peach Pit). Also forget that stoves and refrigerators just might get in the way of moshing. Even the writers of “90210” must’ve gotten the hint, because they’ve since reopened the Peach Pit After Dark in an old carpet store next door to the diner. The only thing funnier than the sight of Gucci-clad Beverly Hills brats (not a one of them sweating, by the way) crowd surfing is listening to bad boy Ray Pruit croon sappy songs to the audience. Comparable Chicago joint: Big Nasty.
SKANK (“All-American Girl”): The only things worse than the dead ambience at Skank are the outrageously unfashionable clothes Margaret and her friends insist on wearing here. The slam dancers look tame, and so do the druggie musicians who perform here. Comparable Chicago joint: the old Avalon.
