The real Kramer: Comic gets celeb status without work

By Jae-Ha Kim
Chicago Sun-Times
May 12, 1998

His name’s Kramer.  Kenny Kramer.

And like his “Seinfeld” doppelganger, Cosmo Kramer (played by Michael Richards), this Kramer is tall, thin and full of wacky ideas (the denim tuxedo idea he pitched to Calvin Klein didn’t fly).

The 53-year-old former stand-up comic, martial arts instructor and band manager was the real-life Manhattan neighbor of “Seinfeld” co-creator Larry David and the inspiration for the show’s scene-stealing K-Man.

“I love what’s done with Kramer on TV,” Kramer said Monday from his New York digs.  “The show has catapulted me into a celebrity. I have achieved this without actual accomplishment. This is the best kind of celebrity to have because I don’t have to do anything.

“I’m in media heaven.  Jerry Seinfeld starting a TV show was the best thing that happened to me, topped only by Jerry Seinfeld quitting television.”

Seinfeld’s swan song airs on Channel 5 from 7:45 to 9 p.m. Thursday, preceded by  45 minutes of  flashbacks. Kramer, who attended the finale’s taping, will host a “Seinfeld” party for the New York Times that evening.

“I know everything about the (last show),” he said.  “I was there on the set when they shot the ending.  I signed a disclosure agreement, but that means nothing to me.  I’m willing to tell, but you have to pay for it.”

Asked if he would blab for $1,000 – the amount Castle Rock paid Kramer to base a character on him – the savvy negotiator said, laughing, “Not even close. (You would have to pay me) enough money that Larry David would understand why I did it.  The (National) Enquirer offered me $25,000 the other day.”

In another Thursday night appearance, Kramer will be a real-life defendant on “Judge Judy,” airing at 6 on WCIU-Channel 26.

“I was sued by a guy who said I didn’t pay him for collecting signatures on my behalf when I ran for mayor (of New York City last year),” Kramer said.  “I love that Judge Judy.”

Yada yada yada.  But did he win?

“I can’t say,” he said.  “But she was very judicious, and I do have a bit of a crush on her.  I just like the idea of a woman in a black robe with a little doily around her neck.”

(Judge Judy Sheindlin wasn’t as charmed. She ruled against Kramer and ordered him to make a charitable appearance on behalf of plaintiff Don Iarussi.)

Kramer met Seinfeld in 1976 when the two bumped into each other on the stand-up circuit.

“I was a comedian, he was a comedian and Larry was a comedian,” Kramer said.  “Most comedians know each other.  (Jerry) wasn’t like a friend at the time, but he was always cordial.  Once Larry got involved with him, I got to spend a little more time with him.  Jerry is shy and quiet and very inhibited.”

Joking, Kramer added, “And he’s very sensitive about his homosexuality and drug addiction.”

In both TV and real life, a little Kramer goes a long way.  But there’s less of him to go around these days.

Besides his 90-minute “Reality Road Show,” which tours college campuses and such, he hosts weekend “Kramer’s Reality Tour” of various “Seinfeld” hot spots in New York, such as the cafe that inspired the Soup Nazi. Never mind that “Seinfeld” is shot in Los Angeles. It’s based in New York, and that’s good enough for Kramer.

“I think (the characters) would walk around lost if the show were set somewhere else than New York because they wouldn’t know the neighborhoods,” said Kramer, sounding  a lot like his video alter ego.  “The show is completely cross-generational and cross-cultural. It’s a hit in so many countries.  It just proves that funny, intelligent humor is universal.”

Which leads him to the $37.50 Reality Tour.

“Off Broadway shows cost $45, last 90 minutes and you leave hungry,” Kramer said.  “My tour is three hours, includes an original Kramer’s famous pizza, beverage and surprise dessert, so it is quite the entertainment value. I’ll be doing the tours till the end of summer. After that, I can’t guarantee that participants will get me.”

For more info, call (800) KRAMERS.

“The last `s’ ,” he promised, “is for savings.”