By Jae-Ha Kim
Chicago Sun-Times
February 27, 2000
Tom Cashman had three strikes against him when he was trying to impress his future wife, Annette.
“He had the same first name as a guy who had recently dumped me,” says Annette. “He was 100 pounds overweight. And my counselor had recommended that I not date anyone for a while.
“I agreed [with my counselor], because I had had some nasty experiences in the past and had pretty much sworn off of men at that point. I was like, `I don’t need this anymore.’ I just wanted to be alone.”
But Tom, now 47, was persistent.
And one of her friends noticed.
“She pointed out how he was always around and what a cool guy he was,” remembers Annette, 46. “I just wasn’t interested.”
Maybe her friend was interested?
“That may have been, but I don’t think so,” Annette says. “She was a few years older than us. I think she saw potential for us and just wanted to see us happy together. It took me a while to see for myself what a great guy he was.”
They met in 1980 at a parish gathering for young adults. Annette was organizing functions for the group. Tom, who had come to all the meetings and events, volunteered to help.
She made him her co-chairman.
When he asked her out, she didn’t answer immediately. She thought about it overnight before saying yes.
“We went to a theater in Portage Park and saw that Dolly Parton movie, `9 to 5,’ ” Annette says. “Then we went out to dinner. He was so nice to be with. He enjoyed talking and was a good listener.
“But what I really liked about Tom on our first date was that he didn’t try anything improper. He didn’t even try to hold my hand or anything. It showed me that he had good manners and respect for me.”
Within the first six months of dating, Tom dropped 45 pounds.
Annette and Tom live in Niles with their two dogs. They will celebrate their 18th wedding anniversary this May.
“Like any other couple, we’ve had problems in our relationship,” she says. “But we’ve always worked really well together and we both worked really hard to make our relationship work. It’s worth the effort.”
If you have a love story to tell, e-mail jaehakim@suntimes.com or write c/o Chicago Sun-Times, 401 N. Wabash, Chicago 60611. Please include a daytime phone number.
