Jae-Ha Kim
Chicago Sun-Times
July 28, 2000
Will the real Slim Shady please shut up?
That’s the request a Christina Aguilera clone raps on “No Reply.”
Sung from Aguilera’s perspective, the parody of Eminem’s hit single “Real Slim Shady” is enjoying its 15 minutes of fame, thanks to a singer who sounds young enough to be Aguilera and some funny lyrics that mock the controversial rap star.
In “The Real Slim Shady,” Eminem implies that the teenage pop diva performed oral sex on MTV VJ Carson Daly and Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst.
In “No Reply,” “Aguilera” snarls, “I’m sorry, Slim, but this is gonna hurt/They both got farther than you ever will, jerk/Your song is on my nerves/Your song is on my nerves/You’re kinda lucky ’cause you have more fame than you deserve.”
Aguilera has not heard the parody, according to her publicist. Eminem’s publicist didn’t return our calls.
Sung by Las Vegas-based musician Emily Ellis, “No Reply” actually is a parody of a parody. Mike Spencer, assistant program director of KLUC-FM in Las Vegas, heard a California radio personality perform a parody of the song and thought it might be funny to hear the song from a woman’s perspective.
“I rewrote some of their lyrics and brought in Emily to do the vocals,” says Spencer. “Then when we premiered it on KLUC, we had a little fun with it saying that we had just received a song from C.A. Productions.
“It was a joke and most of the audience realized that. But since we began playing it on June 22, it has been our most requested song for the past month.”
“No Reply” hasn’t been released on any label, but that hasn’t stopped radio stations nationwide from playing it.
“We got it off Napster and began playing it a couple weeks ago,” says Harry Legg, assistant program director at WKIE-FM (92.7). “It’s found its way to our Top 10 countdown several times. Usually kids will ask us to play `The Real Slim Shady.’ And then they’ll add, `Can you also play that song that disses Eminem?’ ”
LYRICS TO THE PARODY `NO REPLY’
May I have your attention please
May I have your attention please
Will the Real Slim Shady please shut up
I repeat, will the Real Slim Shady please shut up
We’re gonna have a problem here
Y’all act like you never heard a white person before
His rhymes are a borePunk kid trying to be hard-core
But Marshall Mather’s back worse than before
Makin’ us snore whining on the microphone
It’s the return of the . . . oh wait . . . no, wait
You’re a fool
You didn’t pay money for this CD did you?
And Dr. Dre did everything you idiot
Without Dre’s beat beds you’re as good as dead
The world’s had enough of Eminem
Jiggy jiggy
Even his girlfriend’s cheatin’ on him.
Look at him walkin’ around livin’ off Dre actin’ so cool
But he’s really kind of weak though.
Little twit blasts me on his new CD
Why? ’cause I turned him down for a date, hee hee.
As for the question of who came first
Was it Carson Daly or was it Fred Durst
I’m sorry Slim but this is gonna hurt
They both got farther than you ever will, jerk
Your song is on my nerves
Your song is on my nerves
You’re kinda lucky ’cause you have more fame than you deserve
That is the message that I deliver to little kids
You can be famous and never know what talent is
Of course they’re gonna like you
Of course they do
You’re like a cartoon version of Ricky Shroeder on “Silver Spoons”
You ain’t nothing but a product packaged to be bought up
You know a year from now you won’t be thought of
So, you write about dead animals and cannibals
And someday soon you’ll stop dating dogs and date higher mammals
And there’s a million women just like me
That think like me that all agree
That Slim Shady is just a boy dealing with puberty
So, if you agree scream loudly with me
You’re Slim Shady, yes, you’re the Real Shady
You sound like Peter Brady
You get quite irritating
So, won’t the Real Slim Shady please shut up
Please shut up
