By Jae-Ha Kim
Chicago Sun-Times
April 9, 2002
I am a single woman in a room filled with 56 available men. I could not be happier. Well, yes, I could — but there’s not much I legally can do about the 55 other women scoping out my potential dates.
Welcome to FastDater, where the rules are simple and the dates are, well, fast. Three minutes, to be exact.
“Date” is a misleading word, actually. What we embark on is more a series of get-to-know-ya interviews. Name. Age. Occupation. Buzz! Time to move on to the next interrogator, er, date.
When the buzzer sounds, you have three minutes to size up your date . Is he twitchy and odd? Or does he make your heart flutter? If the former, mark “no” on a scorecard. If the latter, circle “yes.” Within two days, FastDater sends participants the e-mail addresses of the singles whose “yes” columns match yours.
Most of the FastDater events have been sellouts, says general manager Angela Stranges.
“We’ve been doing these for almost a year now and one couple has gotten engaged,” Stranges says. “We don’t promise that, but most people who attend end up having a fun time.”
At the event I attend at the House of Blues Hotel’s funky Kaz Bar, women sit at small, intimate tables, while men move clockwise around the room. I am happy with this turn of events, partially because I am lazy but mostly because now I don’t have to figure out how to walk in a way that makes my butt appear smaller.
Most of my McDates are friendly and inquisitive. Some are downright lookers. Most important, there are no pretenses about why we’re here. We can cut to the chase. My mind wanders as I focus on Jody Grimaldi, a ridiculously handsome guy hovering nearby. I think my luck is about to change when it hits me — he’s not there to participate. Grimaldi, who is engaged, is there to photograph the event. He’s off limits.
One poor soul stumbles to my table and says he needs an aspirin. Luckily, I never leave home without one and offer it to him. He gratefully accepts and explains that Date No. 12 did him in.
I know how he feels. Near the end of the 2-1/2-hour event, my throat is sore and even I’m tired of hearing myself talk. I’m also a little antsy and weary of asking polite questions. What I really want to know is, “Do you have a hairy back?”
But then I remember a tip I received from Yaacov Deyo, the founder of SpeedDating — the original fast-date service — and author of SpeedDating: The Smarter, Faster Way to Lasting Love (HarperResource, $18.95): Don’t go in with a negative attitude.
“Dating in general is kind of brutal,” Deyo says. “It’s really hard to meet people. Singles are looking for a better, smarter, faster way to connect. I think fewer people go in with an unrealistic expectation of meeting the one. Rather, they view it as an opportunity to meet a few dozen people they wouldn’t have otherwise met.”
Deyo also advises me to be aware of whether I’m enjoying my date’s company. When he hears me sigh, he ups the ante.
“I’ll say a little prayer for you, Jae,” promises Deyo, who is a rabbi.
The answer to my parents’ prayers arrives in the form of a Korean-American doctor. He has on a pair of snazzy glasses and a leather jacket. He’s either shy or snobby. I can’t tell which and by the end of our date, I don’t really care. I joke about doctors being afflicted with the God Complex and he responds in a very serious manner. Only the hypochondriac in me is disappointed to learn he doesn’t select me.
I also meet a one-two punch of guys who insult each other with the ease and jovial contempt only good friends have. One of them is a Catholic of Palestinian descent. He has a great personality and tells a series of funny stories that crack me up. We both mark each other as a “yes,” and he e-mails me a few days later.
So do seven other fellas, including Cai von Rumohr, a transplanted German who is multilingual. He invites me to join him for a cup of coffee at his favorite Starbucks in Old Town. When I arrive, he greets with me a hot chocolate and a matchbook. Neither of us smoke, but we learned during our FastDater meeting that we both collect matchbooks. This common hobby gives us an intro to talk about where we collected our best matchbooks, which leads to talk of travel, politics and the best place to get sushi, which we decide to eat afterward.
Two Sapporo beers later, von Rumohr admits he was physically attracted immediately to two of the four women he selected. He doesn’t say whether I am one of them, but I choose to err on the side that flatters me, even if it is delusional.
“I really had fun at the event,” von Rumohr says. “I would recommend it to my friends who wanted to meet women.”
John Carrigan, whom I also meet for coffee, shares these sentiments.
“I met quality people,” Carrigan says. “I went with a friend who connected with a guy right away. They would meet each other during the break periods. They exchanged phone numbers before the evening was over.”
Technically, Carrigan’s friend broke protocol. Last names and phone numbers aren’t supposed to be exchanged at these events. But then again, FastDater is all about getting a bunch of single people together in one room to circulate.
Who am I to narc on a happy couple?
The next FastDater events are tonight at the Alumni Club, 871 E. Algonquin, Schaumburg; and April 16 at Joe’s, 940 W. Weed. Registration is $35. For more info, visit www.fastdater.com.
What a babe!