By Jae-Ha Kim
Chicago Sun-Times
September 25, 2003
Experts are promising they’ll be able to deliver comfortable high heels. I don’t buy it.
Comfort, of course, is relative. Wobbling around in a pair of stilettos is a walk in the park compared to, say, giving birth. But for anyone who’s tried to work an entire day in a pair of high-heeled pumps, we know the comfortable high heel is a myth.
Beauty hurts, which is why women who wear sexy high heels on a regular basis often suffer from bunions, corns, claw toes, ingrown toenails and other hideous knobs that make your bare feet look downright scary.
So why do we wear them? Because we’re vain. Because we’re stupid. But most importantly, because we know those torture devices make our legs look fabulous.
The biggest lie women give on a regular basis has nothing to do with our age or weight. It has to do with our shoes.
When asked, “Are those shoes comfortable?” we’ll smile, delicately show off our purchases and say, “Yes! They really are.”
But unless we’re wearing sneakers, flip-flops or something Birkenstock-y, there’s a good chance we’re lying through our clenched teeth. Because when it comes to comfort, the high heels don’t have it.
Scientifically, there’s next to no chance a heel higher than two inches will be comfortable for the long run. A 3-inch heel creates seven times more stress on the ball of the foot than a 1-inch heel. Imagine what those 4- and 5-inch Blahniks are doing to our dogs.
Of course, there are various levels of discomfort. I had a pair of leather Nike tennis shoes in college that did more damage to my feet than my 4-inch Via Spiga platform sandals. Same for a pair of chunky, flat Steve Madden shoes I bought specifically because they looked like they would be comfortable. Wrong.
Let’s face it — the most comfortable shoes tend to be the most unattractive, mannish ones. My Merrells sandals conform to my foot like a glove and are a godsend. But the reason they’re so comfortable is because they’re wide enough for Fred Flintstone’s feet. My Mephisto shoes offer a 1.5-inch heel and are almost comfortable enough to substitute for an athletic shoe. Stylewise, they don’t look much better. But I can walk for miles in these shoes without begging for a bandage or springing for a cab ride back to work.
As for my “fancy” shoes — the high heels I save for weddings, parties and the like — I can wear them for about three hours max without needing a cane or a back brace.
If we can send a man to the moon, why can’t designers make a high heel that’s comfortable? Ah, maybe in outer space, they are.
