The grasshopper, our cat and Kyle

By Jae-Ha Kim
jaehakim.com
September 5, 2013

My son loved our cat as much as I was ambivalent about him. Him being the cat (not my son). As much as I loved animals when I was a child, I never wanted one when I grew up.

But, my husband grew up with pets. And, like most children, our little boy loves animals. And, wow. He was infatuated with Toonces from Day One.

And no, the cat’s name technically wasn’t Toonces. But I called him that, because he was so jaunty. And had a lot of attitude. And was really smart. He could’ve driven a car if he put his mind to it. I’m sure of it.

Kyle loved to lavish Toonces with hugs and the occasional yank on the fur and tail. If an adult had done that to our cat, (s)he would’ve been subjected to the loudest hiss of their lives. But our cat loved children and tolerated almost anything from them.

Our son learned to be gentle with him and they enjoyed a simpatico relationship, which usually ended with Kyle slipping the cat an extra scoopful of kibble with his clumsy toddler fingers.

When he was almost 19 years old, our rescued pound cat passed away. Kyle was barely three. His father and I weren’t sure how to explain it to him, so we told him that Toonces had lived a very good life, but he was no longer with us.

Kyle nodded, as if he understood. And then he took his nap.

When he woke up, he wanted to feed his cat. I gently explained that Toonces had died. We went over this a few more times before he blinked back tears and whispered, “I want my cat.”

My little boy is growing up to understand and accept death, which is an important part of life. It’s a concept that I still have difficulty comprehending.

Kyle never met my father, who had passed away before Kyle was born. But he still has three living grandparents. It’s not going to be easy for him to accept their eventual deaths, but I do think that losing a pet has helped him understand the circle of life process.

Today, he and a friend found a dead grasshopper lying on our porch. His friend wanted to play with it, but Kyle said, “No, his mommy and daddy are probably looking for him. They’re going to be sad.” His little pal agreed.

After his friend went home, Kyle arranged some pine combs around the grasshopper and gave him a makeshift burial. He said he wanted to show the grasshopper’s parents that their baby had been loved.

Rest in peace, to all concerned.

© 2013 JAE-HA KIM | All Rights Reserved