Would “Friends” Work in the 2010s?

By Jae-Ha Kim
jaehakim.com
October 29, 2022

In 2016, a Washington Post reporter reached out for quotes for an an article she was writing about “Friends.” I didn’t make it into the final piece. And as is often the case when this occurs, the journalist ghosted me (although she did respond when I sent a quick email to say I had read her piece):

Thank you so much! And apologies — I meant to send the link to you, and let you know that while I wasn’t able to use your quotes, they were still super helpful as I was working on the piece.

Sometimes the quotes just don’t work. I did an interview with the Economist recently and I’m 99.99% sure that my quotes will never make it into the article (and I’m also quite sure that this writer will never let me know). I think what I’m getting at here is that things don’t always work out and that’s OK. But what’s not OK is the lack of common courtesy some people seem to have because they don’t want to feel uncomfortable delivering what they perceive as an unpleasant message.

Recently, I had to let a source know that against my best efforts, my editor cut her quotes out. She was gracious about it and thanked me for letting her know. Having been in her situation numerous times, I still felt horrible about it, because I know she had spent a lot of time and effort to help me. But here’s the thing: It happens. Just be professional about it, thank everyone who helped you and send us a link. If we were interested enough to help you when you were in the research stage, we’ll more than likely want to share your article to other readers — even if we didn’t make the final cut.

Anyhow … Here are my quotes from six years ago (and, yes, I would answer some of these questions differently today):

Q: What made you decide to write a book about “Friends”? Were you a huge fan of the show?
A: I had an offer to co-author a book for a talk show host, who then decided to write the book herself. My agent said that I should write my own book. I enjoyed watching “Friends” and thought it would be fun to write a pop culture book about the series. I was a big fan of the show. Truth be told, I wasn’t that impressed with the first episode, but it got better each following week. It really did become “must see” TV for me.

Q: Do you watch the show now? Either in re-runs or on Netflix?
A: My son — who’s 7 — really enjoys the show. Whenever he sees it On Demand or when we’re switching channels, he points it out. He refers to it as “Mom’s Show.” Ha! I don’t have a lot of time to watch TV these days, but if I catch a snippet, it’s difficult for me to resist. Also, I have the entire series on Blu-ray. For emergencies. Ahem.

Q: If you do watch it now, is there anything about the show you notice now that you didn’t during its original airing or even after you wrote your book?
A: Seeing it today, it just looks whiter than it did even back in the 1990s. I was on a panel on the “Today” show talking about the series finale. There were two white men, another Asian woman and me. I joked that we had more diversity on our panel than the show ever had.

Q: One of the things I’m interested in exploring in my story is how “Friends” or a similar show would fit into today’s television landscape. Do you think it could?
A: Absolutely. “The Big Bang Theory” has a similar premise: friends who do everything together and whose lives are intertwined. Though they all have family nearby (except for Raj), they are each other’s de facto family.

Q: What other shows did you watch when “Friends” was on?
A: “E.R.” “Seinfeld.” “Sex and the City.” Also a lot of those “Real World” series, which I loved to hate.

Q: What TV shows do you watch now?
A: I’ve always been one who has loved TV and never understood people who said, “I don’t watch TV.” I love TV and wish I had more time for it. I really don’t watch much TV these days — not because I don’t want to, but because of lack of time. When I do have an hour or two to spare, I watch K-dramas (Korean Dramas). They’re just more interesting to me now. Unlike American series, they don’t drag on for years and overstay their welcome. Most average 16 to 22 episodes. There is a beginning and an end a couple months later. (The series usually air 2 new episodes per week in Korea.) Once it’s done, the actors and writers move onto new projects.

One of my favorite recent Korean dramas was “Oh My Venus” starring So Ji-sub and Shin Min-ah (So and Shin are the actors’ surnames). It aired this winter and was must-see for me. I also really enjoyed the “Reply” trilogy. What I really like about these shows is that while there is almost always a romance at the center of the plot, the main theme is the ongoing friendship between the characters from their school days through their adulthood.

Tying this back to “Friends,” I was never as vested in Ross and Rachel’s romance as much as the six of them being good friends to each other. I would’ve been fine if Ross and Rachel ended up with other people. But, if their friendship was fractured, I would’ve been really, really sad.

Note: This is more of a reminder for myself of what I had said more than anything else.