By Jae-Ha Kim
jaehakim.com
May 13, 2023
Last week, I wrote an essay about my family’s outing to an amusement park when we were new immigrants to the United States. A family at the picnic table next to us offered to watch our picnic basket while we went on rides. We convinced my mother, who had been guarding our food, to say yes and go with us.
I’m not sure how long they waited before they started picking through our food. But when we returned, there was nothing salvageable to eat. They drank all our sodas and took bites of our food. That they didn’t like our picnic lunch or respect food in general was obvious, because they smashed up everything they hadn’t already tried to show their distaste.
This wasn’t a group of kids. This was a family, with adult parents and children who they likely encouraged to participate in this food carnage.
My mother was shocked. She couldn’t believe that Americans would do such a thing. She was sad not because they didn’t like her food — she didn’t expect Americans to like it — but because they made the choice to waste an obscene amount of food that she had spent a lot of time and money on.
And that’s the section of my article that set off a group of Asian Americans (primarily Korean Americans?). They called my mother names (very mature, right?) and basically said that’s what we deserved for moving to the United States. They said this bravely from anonymous Twitter accounts from … their homes in the United States.
As if we would know then what we know now. As if we were mystical soothsayers who had some ancient Chinese secret that would allow us to know what the U.S. would be like. Listen, we didn’t even have a TV back then. And if it did, we still wouldn’t have known what the U.S. was like. But my parents left South Korea for the same reason most immigrants do — in search of a better, more secure life.
And now, a bunch of people who didn’t fight for Korea in any way had an issue with something that happened specifically to my family decades ago.
I wasn’t “rankled” by @yeongno3. These people may all be buddies, but I have no idea who they are. It’s the internet and while a few of us are transparent about who we are, the vast majority are not — which makes it easy for them to troll and/or harass others online. By @dyjimgi’s theory, @yeongno3’s username was supposed to be proof that she’s a Korean American woman. Riggggghhhhhhtttt. But wait, this is the internet and it’s not unheard of for a man to pretend to be a woman.
Honestly, I was trying to figure out what a boba Asian woman was supposed to be more than anything else. I knew it was meant to be derogatory, but not why. TikToker Amy Chen breaks it down in a way that makes sense:
I’ve gathered that it is supposed to be an insult for Asian Americans who are thought to not have strong cultural ties to their Asian heritage. … [But what they’re] really talking about is [bobas to them are] Asian Americans who say things that they don’t like. It’s Asian Americans who advocate not only for Asian Americans, but for Black, brown, Indigenous and other people of color. And in that case, I will wear that label proudly. Go, boba!
So in my particular case, this group categorized me as a boba and started their little smear campaign because I, as a child, was brought to the U.S. — and because my mother had hoped that things would be better in America than it had been in Korea at the time. Wow, good job. You got me!
And let’s get something straight. None of the people who made the callous comments fought for their country, because they weren’t born yet. Neither was I. But I was raised in a Korean household speaking Korean, eating Korean food, celebrating Korean customs (that some Christian Koreans won’t acknowledge anymore because their church told them not to), and my parents — and later us kids — sent money to our relatives in Korea to help keep them alive. Yes, our U.S. dollars benefited Korea. And it wasn’t just our family that did this. Many Korean American families sacrificed for the sake of their families back home.
And because none of these people have much of a social media following, they latch onto anyone they think can garner them attention. When they don’t get it, they resort to insults like the above. I mean, no one likes to hear trash talk about their mother. But I smiled, thinking about how she could respond to them fluently in four different languages, and all they had going for them is the ability to speak English.
When they still weren’t getting the attention they craved, they resorted to picking apart my profile photo.
And they made misogynistic and racist assumptions as to who I must be based on a picture from a photoshoot where I was the model.
Many of my social media followers already know the story of my profile photo. The outlet I worked for at the time needed a model for a photoshoot. The images would run with an article about … beatniks. The model didn’t show up, so the editor and photographer asked if I would sub in for her. My payment? I got the images from the photoshoot.
But yeah, these Asian American men of Twitter had no qualms about sexualizing a photo of me where I’m covered from head to toe.
Their own internal racism comes out when the person they decided to compare me to was Yoko Ono, who also was photographed once wearing a black beret. Of course, who can fault them? I mean, it’s not like any other famous people besides Yoko have worn black clothes and berets. Oh, wait: Christina Aguilera, Audrey Hepburn, Maria Menounos, Faye Dunaway, Bella Hadid, James Dean, Jack Kerouac etc.
But that wouldn’t suit the narrative they’re trying to portray:
(1) They don’t like Yoko.
(2) Yoko was married to John Lennon … who was WHITE, y’all!! The horrors!
(3) Yoko is also Japanese, but they were too busy hating on me to remember to hate her for that, too.
As you can see, they are reaching.
But wait, they’re not done yet. Not a one of them could figure out that it’s not unusual for someone who lives in the United States to work for a company that’s … in the U.S. So now I’m a boba because I write for Rolling Stone. Perhaps these fine folks don’t have jobs and therefore aren’t well versed on how employment works.
And the following is a complete non sequitur that had nothing to do with anything. We weren’t talking about Biden or Trump, but Douglas wants clout anyway he can get it. If that means negging a stranger, so be it! Unfortunately, he doesn’t appear to know what a shill actually is. Anyhow, that’s what the following is all about:
Note: Thank you to everyone who sent screenshots and shared their stories about being targets of these unusual people. I’ve updated this as time permitted, because…I’m busy. People can try to spread lies, so it’s more than fair to hold them accountable. I didn’t black out their usernames, because they insisted that they want their usernames on display. So, there you go. This post isn’t a rebuttal, so much as it is a summary of what’s going on at this time in my life. Cheers!
© 2023 JAE-HA KIM | All Rights Reserved
Why is yeongno using British spelling? Aligned with your colonizers, you hateful troll?
Her crew will use her being an adoptee as a reason why she can say or do anything and not get any pushback. Nope. If you are going to lead your crew to attack other minority women, you can go to hell with them.
To the coward The Decaying Gentleman, listen, I realize it’s tough for you to interact in real life because you’re lacking in self awareness and culture, but this is a cruel thing to say about anyone’s mother. Hiding behind your anonymous troll account on Twitter must make you feel like a BIG MAN. You’re pathetic.
His entire feed is disgusting. He’s a pig who needs to go to the library to read up on history.
As an adoptee who has been bullied by that group for months, I have zero love for them. They are obsessed with who we’re dating or married to. They’re worse than white racists but think they’re better. I ran a blockchain on them and so far, so good. Those crazy people are as vicious as they are stupid. The should go to North Korea since they want to so badly. Oh wait they can’t, because none of them can speak Korean! By the way my husband is Korean too but these bullies called me a boba worshiping white men. Honestly I think most of them want to be married to white men but are closeted and can’t out themselves yet so they hassle women and gay men who are just living our lives.
These people are unhinged.
Wasn’t Doug born in New York? lol He sits on his toilet throne telling everyone how he’s more Korean than them. If you call him out, he’ll blame his mental health issues but he has no problems dragging Asian American and Asian women through the wringer because he can’t get anyone interested in him. He needs therapy and lots of it.
My boyfriend used to be friendly with him, but he got so deep into crazy conspiracy theories that he broke ties with him. He wants to be relevant so badly but has no talent or ambition to work towards a real goal, so this is what he does. Sad. I feel really bad for his parents.
Why do you feel sorry for his parents? They’re the ones who created him. Look at how he talks about other people’s mothers. He’s a douchebag.
You’re right.
I hope you know that these trolls are in the minority. These men are unloved not because they’re Asian men but because they are just horrible people. No one wants them, but instead of blaming white or Black women, they show their own internal racism by taking it out on Asian women, who they view as inferior to them. No one is owed the attention of any women.
They are so dense and stupid that they can’t read the English language, even though that’s all these “Koreans” can speak, properly. And their level of decency doesn’t exist, which is why they are saying cruel things about your mother.
From one Jae to another, thank you for your work. I love reading your essays very much!
These MRAsian incels whine all the time that women don’t want to f*ck them and that women in general and Asian women in particular don’t like them and will date a subpar white man instead. If someone is dating a subpar white man instead of YOU, that means she considers you to be even worse. That’s a you issue, not an us issue. We owe you nothing. We date who we want.
The irony is that Korean actors and idols have women from all over the world who want to f*ck them. We find Asian men attractive. But don’t blame us because You are a disgusting misogynistic man who think you are entitled to our attention and bodies. We do not belong to you because we share the same race. In fact, we run away from you just like any other man who shares your hateful and sexist views. Reflect on yourself and leave us alone!
And that one girl who started this all is a pick-me girl. She’s happy that those incels think she’s one of the good girls and I guarantee you they talk shit about her and sexualize her when she’s not in the group chat.
That’s victim blaming. “It’s your mother’s fault, she shouldn’t have trusted people”.
What the hell. Are they for real. Your mom was disrespected and my heart broke reading what you all felt. Ppl are born with compassion/empathy or taught compassion/empathy. I feel sorry for ppl who don’t have compassion and empathy.
The absolute privilege of criticizing the experience of an immigrant who came from war and poverty while Tweeting on their smartphone at a Korean American journalist 🤦🏻♀️
That dumbass who said you were rankled. lmao The only one rankled is him. Sounds like he’s jealous.
what a bunch of rude, and disturbing jerks. they are not kind, are not smart, are not clever, are not wealthy, are not funny, and are not nice. Why would anyone want to date them? people like them who keep spreadsheeets of who everyone is dating have too much time on their hands. Love is love and they should mind their own business. I hope no woman procreates with them. They will spread their hate onto innocent babies.
All of them have hateful messages they spread on social media.
How about that idiot who complained that Jae covered someone’s username on Twitter. Are they OK? like do they know that people lie about who they are on the internet all the time.? “cadence,” You’re prob a 60 year old man pretending to be woke. Don’t forget to take take your Tums.
He’s prob a boomer who has no clue how Twitter works. Moron.
He’s completely off base and has no clue about decency. Jae has a huge following and she covers everyone’s handles so they have privacy. If she hadn’t, those whiners would have been screaming that she was siccing her followers on yeongno. Yeongno has also said she’s an adoptee. She’s talking about a very different experience than the OP. I’m glad she didn’t cover their names here. We need to be warned about who to block and they begged to have their names shown so everyone should be happy.
Yikes I have second hand embarasment for the incel who doesn’t know that the Jae=Z quote is from Tablo. Every Korean worth his salt knows who Tablo is! Just goes to show that they idiots don’t know how to research anything. Everything they say is just word vomit. They and all their followers are clueless, hateful, fear-mongering haters who think communism is the answer but won’t give up their cushy lives to make a difference. Pathetic.
I laughed at that. Tablo is a white liberal now? Stupid says what?!
She’s right, though. The US committed atrocities in Korea. You have to question the level of propaganda you have been exposed to in order to expect otherwise.
The Korean War is technically not over. Look at North Korea then look at South Korea. Which side do you prefer? War is not pretty. When it’s on your land, you do not have a choice to abstain. Stop acting as if Koreans were stupid to believe the Americans. It’s rude & naive.
They all talk a big game (especially the 40 and 50 year olds who haven’t made it out of their parents’ suburban basements) because they read a little bit about pro juche communism and think they’re historians. Doug is the worst. We ran in the same social circles for a while, but I didn’t find him amusing after seeing how he treated women. He’s a failed actor who was pampered this whole life. He lives in California and sponges off his wealthy parents. Never worked a day in his life, which is why he has all this time to open multiple Twitter accounts specifically to harass Asian women.
Thanks for posting these Jae. My daughter is having a tough time in school with her finals but she is a rocket scientist compared to these wannabe communists. Why don’t they relocate to China or North Korea. I’m sure they’ll find the conditions there lovely.
incel: i’m not an incel
also incel: let’s go harass some women
Anyone who says all Asians are smart needs to see these guys’ tweets. lmao When God was passing out brains, He skipped over this bunch of “men.”
THIS!
They all talk a lot about communism and each and every one of them would shit their pants living in North Korea. Can you even imagine these keyboard warriors being sent to a prison camp? They’d be crying for their mommies, not eommas, because none of these assholes can even speak Korean.
They consider an Asian American living in the United States to be a boba for working for a U.S. company? Make it make sense! Where the hell do they work? China? lol I’m sure they all work for U.S. companies. They’re jealous harpies venting a spleen because the only things they have going for them is each other.
Not even. It’s like 2 people with multiple accounts talking to themselves because they have no friends or followers.
That Decaying Person thinks he’s really doing something…
I mean honestly their level of neeners is less than what kindergarten babies come up with.
Boy, they got you good. “Look at the list of Western outlets she writes for!” LOL What a bunch of idiots.
To be fair, when you don’t have a job, you don’t know how jobs work. These basement dwellers probably just get money wired to them from their poor parents, who still support them.
They’re worse than Karens, because they are doing their best to take down their own people. They’re all communist-wannabes who think their lives would be better in a communist country. No one is stopping them from taking their ignorant asses to somewhere else. But they wouldn’t have the freedom to spew their shit in North Korea or China. So they remain chicken littles in the US. They are jobless cretins who don’t have a single worthy thought to share between them. As an adoptee, I’m disappointed that an adoptee is part of that group. But she’s just as bad as they are. They attacked me for having white parents. I was a baby when I was adopted. I know about my heritage, I’m in the process of trying to find my umma, and I love my parents. It’s not either or.