“Queen of Tears” (눈물의 여왕)

By Jae-Ha Kim
Substack
April 30, 2024

☆☆☆½ (out of ☆☆☆☆)
Baek Hyun-woo (played by Kim Soo-hyun)
Hong Hae-in (played by Kim Ji-won)
↑Note: Korean names denote the surname followed by the given name.

For the tl;dr it crowd, here’s my synopsis that I wrote for Teen Vogue:

This superb K-drama starts off with a henpecked husband who is so miserable in his marriage that when he finds out his icy wife is dying, he’s not unhappy about it. In fact, he’s a little giddy. But by the end of the series, we are left feeling teary-eyed and hopeful about the power of love. Hyun-woo (Kim Soo-hyun) and Hae-in (Kim Ji-won) seem like the perfect couple. Except her chaebol father owns the company they work at, while his family’s modest income isn’t comparable. This imbalance in power results in his being bullied and taken advantage of by his in-laws, who view him as beneath them. Most of the characters in this show have unresolved issues that keep them emotionally stunted. Ironically, Hae-in’s immature brother (Kwak Dong-yeon) is the one character who is completely besotted with his wife and their child. He refuses to give up on the woman he loves, even after it appears that she has misrepresented herself. As for tropes, we have them all here: brain tumor, memory loss, overbearing parents, and an evil adoptee. But it all works, making Queen of Tears one of 2024’s best K-dramas. (Netflix)

I know there are some people who are unhappy with the way “Queen of Tears” ended. I’m not one of them. In fact, I truly loved it.

It’s easy to create a happily ever after finale that makes viewers satisfied at that moment. But after they move onto the next K-drama, it’s forgotten.

This show’s bittersweet ending will remain with viewers long after the credits have rolled. Honestly? I can still feel the poignancy of those final few moments, which encapsulated how beautiful even a complicated relationship can be — and also how lonely one can feel when it’s all over.

The start of this series is less sweet and more pragmatic. Hyun-woo (Kim Soo-hyun) and Hae-in (Kim Ji-won) had the perfect wedding. Then the drama flashes forward three years to present time, where the genetically-blessed couple barely speak to one another. And when they do, it’s antagonistic.

When they first met, he was the head of legal counsel at the fancy Queens Department Store. As an heiress to the chaebol Queens Group, she worked undercover as an intern to learn more about the company she hoped to take over one day. He didn’t recognize that Hae-in was very very wealthy. After all, her vintage Chanel clothes and fashionably-ripped sweaters just looked old to him and he assumed that she must be too poor to buy decent clothes.

It is not a spoiler to say that a few years into their marriage, neither is happy. She stays because she views it as a business transaction of sorts. Even though he comes from a humble background, he is whipsmart, graduated at the top of his class at Seoul National University’s law school, and he’s also … well, look at him! … so handsome he’s compared to movie stars.

But he wants more — he wants a divorce. And just as he’s ready to serve her the papers to end their marriage, she announces that she only has a few months left to live, due to a rare tumor that’s too dangerous to remove.

OK, this is where viewers may be expecting a typically trope-filled series. We know she’s not going to die (at least not this early on!). And while we do get quite a few more K-drama tropes (an adoptee returns to Korea and causes chaos, memory loss etc.), they are so well integrated into the story arcs that viewers won’t mind.

By the end of the series, Hyun-woo will be remembered as a traditional K-drama hero — one who is good and selfless. But it’s important to remember that this wasn’t always the case. As much as I loved Kim Soo-hyun’s portrayal of the smart, cute and lovable Hyun-woo, I also couldn’t forget that his initial actions weren’t driven by a desire to help his wife, but rather to help himself. He was giddily happy that her dying would save him the trouble of having to divorce her. Her death meant that he would be free of a wife (and in-laws) who didn’t want him around. And if he can trick her into falling in love with him again, and get her to include him in her will, he’ll also leave the marriage with an inheritance.

Her parents hadn’t allowed her to include him in her will, because they didn’t think he was worthy of it. In fact, their overall disdain for the men who married into the Hong family is succinctly depicted during the preparations for jesa — a labor-intensive memorial for their ancestors. Traditionally, the women — the daughters-in-law specifically — are saddled with spending at least one full day (but probably more) cooking a feast for extended family and then cleaning up afterwards.

Korean mothers used to warn their daughters not to marry a man who was the oldest son in his family, because it’s the oldest son’s wife who is expected to prepare that family’s jesas. Way back in the day, marrying the oldest son had some benefits, since it was he who automatically got all of his parents’ assets after they died. That’s no longer the case.

But in an interesting twist on gender expectations here, it’s the male in-laws who married into the Hong family who are expected to do all the cooking. When Hae-in’s pampered younger brother, Soo-cheol (Kwan Dong-yeon), comes into the kitchen to give the men a pep talk, he doesn’t hear how contradictory he sounds telling them that men should do all this work … and yet he doesn’t help at all. This accentuates the pecking order: the in-laws aren’t real family members and should consider themselves lucky to be there in whatever capacity is demanded of them.

By contrast, Hyun-woo’s mother, Bong-ae (Hwang Young-hee), has no interest in subjugating her elder son’s wife. She tells her daughter-in-law that being a part of their family shouldn’t be a burden. She encourages the younger woman to visit her parents on holidays. It’s not because she wants to get rid of her DiL, but because she loves and respects her so much and knows that her own son isn’t a great catch. (She never has this conversation with Hae-in, because no mother-in-law would ash her prominent daughter-in-law to do any cooking or cleaning. And, also, Hyun-woo is quite the catch.)

These sub plots revolving around jesa feel very pointed, addressing serious issues that reflect on reality and why getting married isn’t the be-all end-all for women that some would have you believe. (The expectations of the daughter-in-law to do all the work preparing for a jesa is depicted very well in “Because This is My First Life.”)

“Queen of Tears” takes its sweet time revealing why this couple has such a contentious relationship and I’ll explore more of that in the Spoiler Alert below. But one of the biggest wedges in their relationship is Eun-song (Park Sung-hoon) — a friend of Hae-in’s from her school days — who returns to Korea after growing up in the U.S. His goal is to break up their marriage by any means possible and take her as his own bride.

Scriptwriter Park Ji-eun and Kim Soo-hyun have a professional history, having worked together on “My Love From Another Star” and “The Producers.” And Kim had previously worked with several of the “Queen of Tears” cast members. Oh Jung-se — who portrayed Kim Soo-hyun’s older brother in “It’s Okay to Not Be Okay” — makes a cameo appearance as Kim’s therapist here. Na Young-hee — who coldly portrays Hae-in’s mother — had appeared with Kim in “My Love From Another Star.” And Kwak Dong-yeon — who plays Hae-in’s dim and spoiled younger brother, Soo-cheol — appeared in three episodes of “It’s Okay to Not Be Okay” as an exhibitionist patient at the psychiatric ward where Kim Soo-hyun’s character was a caregiver.

Many viewers won’t be able to imagine a more perfect actress for the female lead role other than Kim Ji-won. Like her co-star, she is brilliant at adding humanity to a somewhat unlikeable character. Kim also has a wicked sense of humor that she gets across with tone and a perfectly arched eyebrow.

But did you know that Lee Ji-eun — known in K-pop world as IU — was the first choice to play Hae-in? (She turned down the role because she was busy working on her album and preparing for her world tour.) After working with Kim Soo-hyun in “Dream High,” the two became good friends. She appeared in his drama “The Producers” and made a cameo appearance in his (critically-panned) film “Real.” He returned the favor by making a much talked about cameo appearance in her drama “Hotel del Luna.” It was the first role he accepted after his mandatory military enlistment was finished.

I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that “Queen of Tears” was the first K-drama I’ve watched in a long time that didn’t have product placement built into the plot for Kopiko candy or Kahi moisturizer sticks. Instead, they went back to the OG: Subway.

Ratings: The “Queen of Tears” finale set a record for the Korean cable network tvN. Nielsen Korea noted that it beat the previous ratings record previously held by “Crash Landing on You” (which was also penned by the same scriptwriter, Park Ji-eun).

Airdates: Sixteen episodes — each about 90-minutes(ish) long— aired on tvN from March 9 to April 28, 2024 on tvN. (I watched it on Netflix.)

Spoiler Alert: K-dramas love to throw in an adoption element that often gets everything wrong. But one thing they did right here is making it clear that while Eun-song was adopted at 13 and raised in the United States, he grew up in a Korean American family. While that wouldn’t guarantee that he would be able to speak Korean fluently, it’s plausible.

But then, they went and made Eun-sung a psychopath, because of course adoptees are going to be a little cuckoo, right? 😑

I have written about the way K-dramas address adoption and adoptees many times. And I thought about what I wrote for Teen Vogue about this subject matter:

What differentiates “Move to Heaven” from many other K-dramas is its willingness to show the complicated aspects of adoption and South Korea’s role in it. These stories are just as important – if not more – as those of Ryan Gold and “Vincenzo.”

“Having a variety of characters is a very important element for Korean scripted series,” says So Jae-hyun, a Studio Dragon producer who worked on “JIRISAN,” as well as “It’s Okay to Not Be Okay,” which was lauded for the way it depicted mental health issues. “From a Korean perspective, an adopted person is one of many characters who are there to move the story along. Having diverse characters leads to endless possibilities for storytelling. And there are infinite ways to tell an adoptee’s story, such as showing from their eyes the challenges they face. It could be educational and inspirational for viewers.”

It is unrealistic to expect K-dramas to address every issue that adoptees face. But if writers can create shows about monsters annihilating sinners (“Hellbound”), a neuroscientist tapping into the memory of his dead cat (“Dr. Brain”), and zombies overtaking the Joseon Dynasty (“Kingdom”), they surely can conjure up an adoptee character who’s neither a murderer or a superstar — but simply a person whose backstory includes adoption.

Instead, what we get with Eun-song is a serial killer in the making, whose first kill was a dog (when he was a child).

And then tied into that adoption trope is his social-climbing birth mother (icily played by Lee Mi-sook), who dropped him off at a child welfare center when he was young and never came back for him. Yes, cases like this happen in real life. And no, not all single mothers are saints. However, there’s a disproportionate amount of single moms in K-dramas who are portrayed as unsavory characters.

Is Eun-song a psychopath because of his mother’s abandonment? That’s what the series would have you believe. But it seems more likely that his mother is a full-on psychopath, too, and had traits she passed onto her son. According to the Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law:

Antisocial behavior and psychopathic traits are subject to complex patterns of inheritance, gene-–environment interactive effects, and powerful environmental influences. Yet genetic factors are important in the etiology of antisocial behavior and psychopathic traits, and identifying youth with an elevated genetic risk may lead to improved interventions and preventive efforts.

As the story unfolds, we learn that Hae-in and Hyun-woo were expecting a baby. They had prepared a beautiful nursery together. One day, he comes home from work to find workers moving out all the baby furniture. She had miscarried. From this point on, their relationship changes drastically. He moves out of their room and they live separate lives (but in the same house with her family). The two never discussed this traumatic event with each other. They never shared their feelings of loss. Without addressing this important loss, they weren’t able to forge a life together.

We also learn later that Hae-in’s mother had always blamed her for the death of her eldest son. Hae-in had almost drowned on the day that her brother died, but an unknown boy rescued her. That boy, of course, turned out to be Hyun-woo.

And as expected, Hae-in went to Germany for an experimental surgery that saves her life, but at the expense of losing her memory. Will she regain it? What do you think? Of course she will! The writers aren’t heartless!

But perhaps they could have made her recovery at least a tiny bit more realistic. The procedure was invasive and included literally cutting her head open. And she woke up from it with … a beautiful head of hair! They didn’t even try to make it look like she had an actual operation! Heck! Even Korean pears have protective barriers to prevent bruising!

There are two scenes that I will always remember in this show. One is when Hae-in’s younger brother, Soo-cheol, grows a spine and tells his mother off. She was disgusted that he was doting on a baby that he wasn’t the biological father of. For all his goofy selfishness, Soo-cheol won’t stand for anyone denigrating his wife or their son. The baby’s first word wasn’t umma (mommy), he tells his mother. It was appa (daddy). This chaebol son is the last person I thought would make the stance that you don’t have to be biologically related to love someone. But his declaration of love for his wife and baby were chef’s kiss.

The second scene that stands out comes swiftly after Hae-in regains her memory and falls in love with Hyun-woo again. There is a flash forward into the future and we learn that Hae-in died in 2074. She is buried in Germany, where the couple had honeymooned (and where she had gotten the medical treatment that saved her life). An elderly Hyun-woo visits her gravesite. It’s clear that even after her death, she lives on for him.

As images of the couple in their younger years flash on screen, they live on for us, too.

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“Queen of Tears” is also notable as being the first K-drama (I think??) to hire a bonafide seasoned white actor to play the role of a westerner. If you’d like to read my exclusive interview with actor Sebastian Roché (“1923,” “Supernatural,”), you may do so here. One of the things he told me was:

There is so much that is so special about Korean dramas. For me, it is all about the storytelling and the emotional content. They are unafraid to show true, raw emotions. Korean film and TV creative talents are masters at it.

You may read our full interview here.

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