Hanging Onto Childhood “Clutter”
I am an anti-hoarder who has no use for a lot of “things.” But, I will never turn down old family photos. The memories that are tied to them are things that money and “experiences” can’t replace.
Category: Musings
The Art of Saying No
If you want me to write about pop culture for a magazine, I will accept (for the appropriate payment). If you want someone to help your kid get into Harvard, do not ask me to look over anything. Hire a professional who specializes in this and who really wants your business (and it is a business — you will have to pay them). You don’t want an overtired, overworked and resentful me saying, “Okay,” because I don’t want to hurt your feelings. Seriously. You get what you pay for.
Here Are A Few of My Favorite Tweeps
The very nature of Twitter is that tweets roll by and then disappear — or, rather, get hidden by a mountain of more recent tweets. These are some of the tweets that I would like to remember.
Voting
One of the privileges of being a citizen of the United States is enjoying the rights that were fought for by those who came before us. I know. I sound a bit ridiculous stating the obvious, right? But, really … Get out there and vote. If you’re worried about the anticipated long lines on November, get out there and vote early.
When your child “loses”
As we were walking home from school, I listened as some of the children voiced their opinions as to who should (and should not) have been elected to student council. According to my chatty informants, one little girl’s older sister wrote her speech for her. Another boy’s father re-wrote his. Gleefully, they named names. “How do you know this?” I asked. And the kids said that the winners told them so. (You have to love children’s honesty!)
What would’ve happened if Ryan Lochte had spoken Portuguese?
Too many people have brushed off Lochte-Gate with, “Boys will be boys.” Which makes me question, just what kind of boys are we raising?
When “Mean Girls” are men
Thinking about it now, I see so many things that I didn’t as a young reporter. I see their white privilege, which was tinged with racism, sexism and jealousy. How dare an *unqualified* Asian woman whose intelligence obviously was inferior to their own have a more prestigious and higher-paying job than they had? I must’ve gotten my job because I’m a woman. I must’ve been an Affirmative Action hiree. In their minds, I was the reason they didn’t have better jobs.
Sam Smith’s brush with racism
Singer Sam Smith got skewered on social media for a series of tweets. After witnessing his friend being abused due to his race, Smith said he was astounded that something like this could happen in London. His tweets clearly were well intentioned. But some folks wondered how he could be so naive as to not know that these things happened on a somewhat regular basis to people of color — especially since the anti-Muslim, anti-Pakastani, anti-Syrian sentiment in the U.K. has been covered extensively in the media there.
Taekwondo: Kicking, punching, way of life
I’m not delusional enough to think that taekwondo lessons will make my son the victor in a schoolyard brawl. That’s not how “street fights” work. But, I do think that if he fought back, the other child would shed a tear or two, too. And, sometimes, that’s what it takes to make a bully leave you alone. I’m really proud of him for not resorting to violence. But, we have also told him that if he can’t run away from a fight, he should defend himself — and we will defend him.
Your Sister’s a Bimbo
My friends have asked me why I don’t just delete the negative comments on my site. It’s because the comments document a certain sector of our population that takes great joy in being anonymously nasty. And, please. As a kindergartner, I had to learn to deal with adults saying scary, racist things to my face. These comments were almost comical by comparison.
Green Tea (Matcha) Cake
My mother doesn’t like overly sweet desserts. So, for her birthday, I made this delicious Matcha (Green Tea) cake. It tastes like the ones I used to buy from the Japanese bakeries. Honestly? I may even like my version a little better.
Sorry, Sorry
• At 4, I wondered what a chink bitch was.
• At 5, I came home from kindergarten singing, “Chink-a-chink-a Chinaman, sitting on a fence.”
• At 6, I watched in horror as a blond boy called my father a motherfucking gook.
“Miss Granny” (수상한 그녀)
A huge hit in South Korea, where it was filmed, “Miss Granny” doesn’t have a unique plot. But, director Hwang Dong-hyuk deftly takes an old premise (an elderly woman finds herself magically transformed into a 20 year old) and adds some new twists and social commentary. The result? A charming comedy full of music and scenes that will tug at your heart.
And So This Is Christmas
To this day, when I see a bag of M&M’s, it reminds me of a time when it was difficult being the new kid who couldn’t speak English, who had no idea what was going on and who desperately wanted to go back home to Seoul. I hope that Santa enjoys the cookies and M&M’s my son left out for him tonight. And I hope that you all have a very happy holiday season.
Let them be
As I was wiping the polish off my son’s tiny fingernails, I told him that there’s nothing wrong with nail polish on boys or girls, just as there’s nothing wrong with pierced ears (at an appropriate age) on girls or boys. That there is no toy that is the property of one gender, just as there is no career that only boys can do and not girls.
Imagine
I was cleaning out my file cabinet the other day and found this. When I was young, I had written Lennon a letter. His assistant typed back a thank you note. At the bottom, John had scrawled a personalized note.
Two Dollars
We were at the store today picking up some groceries. A full cartload, actually. As the cashier was ringing up our items, I looked back to see an elderly gentleman holding just one object: a pie. He wasn’t impatient or annoyed, but I could see that he was tired. There were no other lanes open and I hated the idea of him having to stand there to wait for us.
Kimbap, kimchi and me
My little guy wanted to bring a delicious pork-filled Chinese steamed bun to school for lunch today. I told him no, but I didn’t tell him why. One day, when he’s a little older and less likely to burst into tears if teased, I will let him choose. But, today wasn’t that day.
Trick or Treat
A few years ago, a whole family began showing up at our house. It just seemed odd to me, especially since none of them were in costume. Then it hit me. Perhaps they were hungry and realized they could get free food (albeit candy) one day a year without getting too much flack from people.
Racism & sexism: They go together, don’t they?
My bullies were the worst kind of dude bros: educated men who should’ve known better, but who cloaked their misogyny, racism, jealousy and entitlement with words they thought made them appear hip and clever.