Category: Musings

The Art of Saying No

Jae-Ha Kim

If you want me to write about pop culture for a magazine, I will accept (for the appropriate payment). If you want someone to help your kid get into Harvard, do not ask me to look over anything. Hire a professional who specializes in this and who really wants your business (and it is a business — you will have to pay them). You don’t want an overtired, overworked and resentful me saying, “Okay,” because I don’t want to hurt your feelings. Seriously. You get what you pay for.

Voting

Jae-Ha Kim

One of the privileges of being a citizen of the United States is enjoying the rights that were fought for by those who came before us. I know. I sound a bit ridiculous stating the obvious, right? But, really … Get out there and vote. If you’re worried about the anticipated long lines on November, get out there and vote early.

When your child “loses”

Jae-Ha Kim

As we were walking home from school, I listened as some of the children voiced their opinions as to who should (and should not) have been elected to student council. According to my chatty informants, one little girl’s older sister wrote her speech for her. Another boy’s father re-wrote his. Gleefully, they named names. “How do you know this?” I asked. And the kids said that the winners told them so. (You have to love children’s honesty!)

When “Mean Girls” are men

Jae-Ha Kim

Thinking about it now, I see so many things that I didn’t as a young reporter. I see their white privilege, which was tinged with racism, sexism and jealousy. How dare an *unqualified* Asian woman whose intelligence obviously was inferior to their own have a more prestigious and higher-paying job than they had? I must’ve gotten my job because I’m a woman. I must’ve been an Affirmative Action hiree. In their minds, I was the reason they didn’t have better jobs.

Sam Smith’s brush with racism

Jae-Ha Kim

Singer Sam Smith got skewered on social media for a series of tweets. After witnessing his friend being abused due to his race, Smith said he was astounded that something like this could happen in London. His tweets clearly were well intentioned. But some folks wondered how he could be so naive as to not know that these things happened on a somewhat regular basis to people of color — especially since the anti-Muslim, anti-Pakastani, anti-Syrian sentiment in the U.K. has been covered extensively in the media there.

Taekwondo: Kicking, punching, way of life

Jae-Ha Kim

I’m not delusional enough to think that taekwondo lessons will make my son the victor in a schoolyard brawl. That’s not how “street fights” work. But, I do think that if he fought back, the other child would shed a tear or two, too. And, sometimes, that’s what it takes to make a bully leave you alone. I’m really proud of him for not resorting to violence. But, we have also told him that if he can’t run away from a fight, he should defend himself — and we will defend him.

Your Sister’s a Bimbo

Jae-Ha Kim

My friends have asked me why I don’t just delete the negative comments on my site. It’s because the comments document a certain sector of our population that takes great joy in being anonymously nasty. And, please. As a kindergartner, I had to learn to deal with adults saying scary, racist things to my face. These comments were almost comical by comparison.